To Paris
by Subayasa
Summary: After Hogwarts, Remus leaves for Paris to begin a secret assignment for the Ministry, but Sirius doesn't want him go. Remus/Sirius slash. Please R/R!
1. Chapter I: Raining Tears

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To Paris

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Chapter I: Raining Tears

It was the morning Remus was to leave for Paris. A swift knocking disturbed his door at four am. Rubbing his eyes, he slowly pulled the door open.

"Don't go," Sirius pleaded from the other side.

Remus felt a knot in his stomach, and a lump in his throat. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't.

"Please," the pale man begged.

Remus turned his head sideways and examined his old friend. Outside in the rain, Sirius's disordered hair had been tamed by the downpour.

"Leave. Now," Remus managed to say, his voice soft and fragile.

"I love you," Sirius cried, the rings below his eyes seemingly growing darker.

Remus flinched, but he maintained his expressionless stare.

"It's over," Remus said casually, bowing his head.

"No, Remus, if you-"

He hadn't slammed the door, _but I might as well could've._

Sirius stood at the door, being pounded by the rain, for a few moments. Remus watched him from a window beside his door.

_God forgive me, _the young man wept. His vision was blurred by a tear for a second, and Sirius was gone. _I must've cried him away._

Remus pressed his back to the door and slid down. Down into a state of jadedness. Even hours later, while boarding the train to Paris, his emotions felt numb.

He spied a man with shaggy black hair on the train. Remus wished it was Sirius. So he could tell him he loved him too. That he wanted to be with him.

It wasn't Sirius, of course. And as many times as Remus _thought_ he saw his lover, it would never really be him.

For three years, Remus tossed and turned at night. Dreaming of a life with Sirius. One where he hadn't sent him away. But the dream was just that-- a dream. Remus knew he would never be happy; at least not while he wasn't with his... _other half. My soul, my life._

And then, one day, a letter came from a broad, dark owl. Remus immediately knew who it was from. He calmly unrolled the parchment and read the words:

_Remus,_

how are you doing? It was bloody difficult trying to track you down. I suppose you're doing hush-hush secret work for the Ministry? I had an inkling when you left. What do you think of Penelope? She's a beauty, isn't she? She was a gift from Peter.

We're all anxious to hear how you're fairing. Even Lily. She's concerned James might make me the Godfather of their child if you don't start keeping in touch. We wish you the best.

-Sirius


	2. Chapter II: You-Know-Where

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To Paris

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Chapter II: You-Know-Where

"You know, Sirius, I'm very happy you agreed to meet with me. I thought that you'd be reluctant. I know that my note wasn't too descriptive, but I didn't want to reveal too much to you. The fact is, I am still very much in love with you. This must sound crazy, but it's the truth. I want you to come live with me. My work for the Ministry is almost through, and I was thinking, with the extra money I have we could go off somewhere. Maybe America? I know, I know, I can see it in your eyes. This is a lot to take in. I'm not asking for an answer right now. I just wanted you to know how I felt. I love you, Sirius. I always have and I always will. Do you love me too?"

Remus stared at the man before him. The look on his face was confused, frightened, and in shock. Remus narrowed his eyes, and so did his reflection.

_I'll never be able to pull this off... This was a mistake, all of it._

After several weeks of deliberating with himself, Remus had decided that it would be best to ask Sirius to meet him. What Remus had to say was too important to tell Sirius by owl.

_Sirius,_

Meet me. Two weeks. You-Know-Where. At six.

-Remus

Remus pulled a robe over his clothes and his cat purred at his feet.

"I'll be back late, Ariel. Keep watch, and, erm, _meow_ loudly should anything happen. Miss Harpy next door might hear you."

If Ariel had known how to tell time, she would've thought it odd for Remus to have returned just two and a half hours later. He burst through the door and ripped his robes off, laying face down on his bed, weeping into his pillow.

Ariel hopped up onto the bed and purred into Remus's ear.

"He... didn't come... I can't believe it... He... didn't come..."

All the anticipation, all the planning. Sirius had caused Remus to act completely out of character. His childhood friend had unknowingly been the cause of all of the strife and havoc contained within Remus's thoughts.

"I-If he kn-knew w-would he h-help m-me?" Remus asked himself out loud.

Just then, a tapping on the window brought Remus back into the real world. He dried his eyes with his sleeves and opened his bedroom window.

It was Penelope, with a piece of parchment and something else. Remus carefully removed the parchment and unrolled it.

_Remus,_

I am terribly_ sorry that I was unable to attend our meeting. But I had good reason._

"He must've had to wash his hair," Remus joked.

_James and Lily have had a son! Harold James Potter! He's simply amazing. I've enclosed a photograph, but it doesn't do the boy justice. You must see him for yourself._

-Sirius

Remus examined the photograph. James was on Lily's right side, staring down at his son with wide eyes. Lily was rocking Harold back and forth slowly in her arms. Sirius had a sweet, mellow smile on his face. Remus caressed the photograph with his thumb. Ariel meowed and pushed against the back of Remus's leg.

"Oh-- yes-- I should go," he said quickly, snatching his wand from his desk and grabbing his robes before striding out the door.


	3. Chapter III: Rain, Again

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To Paris

Chapter III: Rain, Again

The ride from Paris to Godric's Hollow was only 15 minutes. A bit of magic had hastened the trip, and although the Ministry had instructed Remus _not_ to use magic for the time being, the anxious man had thought the circumstances provided an acceptable reason for exception.

With a wide smile on his face, he strode towards the gate of James and Lily's house. Taking a deep breath, he raised a fist to knock on the door.

The door opened, suddenly. Remus didn't recognize the man on the other side.

"I... must have the wrong house?" Remus asked.

Sirius appeared in the doorway.

"No, I'm afraid you don't, Remus. Come in, before Lily decides it's time for Harry to sleep," Sirius urged, grabbing Remus's hand and leading him into the great room.

Lily and James (still by each other's side) looked up from young Harold and greeted Remus with warm smiles.

"Who's this, Sirius?" James asked jokingly, giving Remus a suspicious look.

"I'm not sure, but doesn't he bare a striking resemblence to that one fellow we knew at Hogwarts?"

James nodded.

"R... R... Remus, wasn't it?" James laughed.

"You two are horrible," Lily said, scrunching her nose at James and Sirius.

James left Lily's side to give his old friend a hug. Remus hesitated for a moment, then released Sirius's hand and threw his arms around James.

"If you _ever_ disappear like that again, I'm going to harm you _very_ badly," James joked.

"He might _enjoy_ that, Prongs," Sirius commented.

Remus blushed. _And to think, James never suspected a thing..._

After a great deal of 'catching up' had been done (although Remus couldn't say much due to the fact that he was working on something secret for the Ministry), Lily retreated to the bedroom with newborn Harold.

"It's getting late, and James needs his rest," Sirius said sternly.

"Oh, why's that?" Remus questioned.

"Pretty soon little Harry will be keeping you up from sunrise to sunset," Sirius chuckled.

James's face turned green and he gulped.

"I wish I could say that Sirius was exaggerating," Remus smiled.

Remus said his goodbyes and turned to leave. Although the evening had not turned out as he had planned it, he _had_ gotten a chance to speak with Sirius. _At least I'm not as nervous_, he thought as he pulled the hood of his robe over his head.

_I know I can do it, now. I have to, anyways. In no time I imagine he'll be sending me an owl, asking me to explain the message and why I wanted to meet with him._

He felt a hand on his shoulder. He held his breath.

"I'm going to stay here a bit longer, but I'll see you in a couple hours. You know where," Sirius whispered into his ear. The hand left his shoulder and a few moments later, in the great room, Sirius questioned "Who's up for a quick game of Spellcurst?"

Remus released his breath. He felt the blood drain from his face. Swiftly, he fled from the home. It was dark outside, but huge, black, storm clouds could still be seen overhead. Lightning flashed and thunder boomed in the distance.

_I'd be wise to get a few winks in before I see Sirius... I haven't slept in days._

Ariel was waiting by the door when Remus entered the apartment. He stepped over her and fell onto the couch. Almost instantly, his eyes were shut and he was asleep.


	4. Chapter IV: Tea for Three

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To Paris

Chapter IV: Tea for Three

A swift knocking disturbed Remus's door at four am. Rubbing his eyes, he slowly pulled the door open.

"Where were ya?" Sirius grinned from the other side of the door.

Remus held the side of his head. Staring at Sirius with half-asleep eyes, he noticed the pale man's hair had been matted down from the rain.

Sirius walked into the apartment and Remus shut the door behind him.

"Erm... I must've fallen asleep..." Remus explained.

Sirius examined Remus's residence, almost with a look of distaste on his face.

"Can I get you anything, Padfoot?" Remus asked quietly.

"This place is so dark, Moony," Sirius noted, tapping his wand to a few lights.

It took Remus a moment to adjust to the brighter room.

"Tea?"

"Nothing like you at all. It's too large," Sirius continued.

"Hot chocolate? It should warm you right up," Remus questioned, examining the contents of the fridge.

Ariel _meowed_ loudly and Sirius jumped up, cheeks red.

"Must've stepped on her tail-- wait, a _cat_? What is _wrong_ with you, Lupin?" he wondered aloud.

"A... bone, perhaps?"

Sirius and Remus locked eyes; a moment later, they both started laughing.

"It's a shame you're doing all this secret Ministry work, the others and I were anxious to hear about how you've been," Sirius spoke.

Remus set a kettle and a couple of cups and saucers down on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

"Well, I suppose you already know where I live, and that I'm doing work for the Ministry. Letting you know a bit more shouldn't hurt."

Sirius sat down in the chair across from the sofa.

"You must give me your word that you will not tell anyone else, though," Remus told him.

"Of course, Moony. I won't say a word. When I tracked you to Paris the first time, I only told Penelope," laughing," so she could deliver my message. And-- well, James and Lily. And Peter, of course. Oh! And I do believe I mentioned it to the fellow in Diagon Alley..."

Remus nearly dropped the kettle with which he was pouring tea.

"I'll try to keep it _extra_ secret," Sirius added, winking.

Sirius and Remus exchanged stories until well after sunrise. They had breakfast at a quiet Muggle restraunt.

"He'll have a crepe with strawberry and powdered sugar," Sirius told the waitress.

_I _hate _crepes_, Remus thought, smiling at Sirius. _It _was _my favorite food-- when we were still together. I guess I stopped liking them because they reminded me of him too much. I wonder..._

"He'll have scrambled eggs with bacon, and a biscuit. Grape jam, please."

Sirius winked.

They returned to Remus's apartment an hour later.

"I'm afraid I have to leave you, Remus," Sirius frowned.

"Are you sure you don't want to come in?" Remus asked, opening the door to his apartment.

"I really do have to return to my classes."

"You've got to be kidding me, Padfoot. Concerned with your studies?"

Sirius folded his arms.

"Are you positive you don't want to come in?" Remus questioned again.

Sirius took one step backwards.

"What is your problem, Sirius? I thought-"

"You thought wrong, Moony. I'm _sorry_, but you were wrong," the black haired man sighed.

Sirius turned and began walking away.

"Why, Padfoot, _why_? You _wanted_ to meet with me. The tea? The breakfast? For what?" Remus shot.

Sirius stopped in his tracks. Remus didn't have to see his face to know that there was a look of shame upon it.

"I wanted to tell you... that there was someone else," he forced.

Remus nearly collapsed outside his door. _Someone else? He told me that no one else could ever replace me. That he could never be happy without me. Or did I just imagine that?_

"Who is he?" Remus let slip out.

"He was at the Potter's last night. His name is Christian. I..." he trailed off, and continued walking.

"Goodb-"

"Don't say it, Remus... just don't," Sirius called back before disappearing around the corner.

Remus lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. Ariel remained at the foot of the bed. She knew something was wrong. _I imagine I'll _always _be alone. Sirius said it himself. I've changed so much. Like my apartment I'm too dark. Too big. I don't have enough feelings, enough words and emotions to fill my head. Because all I can think about is..._

Turning onto his left side he admired the picture on his nightstand. James... Lily... Harry... and Sirius.

_Him..._


	5. Chapter V: Redefinition and Tradition

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To Paris

Chapter V: Redefinition and Tradition

"I'm sorry, Moony. Really I am. It must've been so hard for you. Three years wallowing in self torment. I had _no_ idea."

"I know you didn't. I was afraid to tell anyone. I was pathetic."

"Why didn't you come to James or myself earlier?"

"James never knew. In school, being a prefect and head boy... Quidditch. He was too preoccupied. Now, with Lily and the baby..."

Peter put an arm around Remus.

"I am _so_ sorry," the short man consoled.

Remus turned and looked into the eyes of Peter. Wormtail wore a frown, but gazing deeper into his eyes, Remus saw something different... something...

_Happiness?_

Remus had had a mental breakdown. The Ministry had relieved him from doing anymore work and offered to relocate him.

"I have no place else to go, Cornelius. Besides, Paris is quiet. Peaceful."

"I understand. If you should ever need anything, do let us know. You've done a great deal of good for the Ministry."

The day after Peter had received an owl from Remus, he arrived in Paris. But now, he seemed to be offering more to Remus than he had previously. Something more than friendship. This startled Remus. At Hogwarts, after Peter had found out about Sirius and Remus's love affair during their sixth year, he had kept their relationship secret from James.

"I figured that you would've told him by now. Do you _really_ think he'd mind?"

"Sirius and I are over. There's no hope of..." Remus took a deep breath. Despite his words, there was still a blind, naive part of him thought "well, maybe, just _maybe_..."

Peter had found himself sleeping Remus's couch for a couple of days. He talked with Remus about everything; from Azkaban to Sirius.

"I don't feel like a very good friend right now. The past few days and all we've spoken about is _me_," Remus frowned.

Peter put a hand on Remus's shoulder.

"I can truthfully say that there's 'nothing new' going on in my life, Moony," Peter smiled.

"Nothing? No mischievious adventures? No top-secret work for the Ministry? No love interest?" Remus questioned.

Peter's eyes flashed as Remus asked the last question.

"Hmm... Well, there _was_ someone," Peter mumbled, removing his hand from Remus's shoulder.

"Yes, and?" Remus pryed.

"Well, he's recently been deeply hurt by someone. I'm not sure if he's ready to hear what I have to say," Peter quickly blurted.

"Oh? Well-- oh. _Oh_. I see. Peter, I-"

"It's okay Remus, you don't have to say anything," Peter sighed.

Remus took another good look at the man sitting next to him. _He's so sweet and innocent. Just like when we were at Hogwarts. I don't know why I haven't seen him like this before._

Peter turned his back to Remus and sighed once more.

"Now I've gone and made things awkward, I'm sorry, Remus," Peter apologized.

Remus spun Peter around and stared into his eyes for a moment.

"Don't be sorry, Peter."

The two men leaned towards each other, and embraced in a passionate kiss. Peter placed his hands on Remus's shoulders and pushed him back for a moment.

"You aren't thinking of _him_, are you?" Peter asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Him who?" Remus shot back, pulling Peter close to him once more.

Ariel _meowed_, Peter and Remus taking a moment to move into the bedroom, shutting the door behind them.

"Don't hurt me, Moony. I'm not strong like you. I can't take heartbreak. I-"

Remus placed a finger on Peter's lips. He kissed Peter again and they both gently dropped onto the bed.

"Peter, I-" Remus began, opening his eyes.

Sirius stared back at him. The photograph that once contained James, Lily, Harold, and Sirius had been torn in two. Now, an overjoyed Sirius stood alone, smiling and waving at Remus. An eruption of frustration exploded within Remus and the picture turned black before being brushed off the nightstand by an unseen force.

"Yes, Remus?"

"Peter, I... I love you."

"I love you too, Remus. Forever."

It would be five months before the first of Remus and Peter's problems became visible.

"That cat _hates_ me Remus!"

"It's all in your head, Peter. Ariel doesn't have a thing against you!" Remus replied, turning towards his pet, "Do you, Ariel?"

Ariel's eyes flashed yellow for a moment while she glared at Remus. She _hissssed_ at him before trotting into their bedroom.

"See?!"

Debates over whether or not Ariel should stay were the least of the lover's troubles.

"What are you doing, Moony?"

"Peter! You weren't supposed to be home for-"

"I _know_ that. What are you doing?" Peter repeated.

"Nothing, just cleaning out some boxes of things," Remus answered softly.

Peter snatched a photograph out of Remus's hand.

"Interesting," Peter stated coldly.

Examining the photograph, Peter's face turned red. Remus and Sirius, taking part in quite a sexual act.

"How come it's not moving?" Peter questioned.

Remus tried not to laugh. _He's just found a picture of Sirius and I making love and he's wondering why it's not moving?_

"It was taken with Muggle film and a Muggle camera that Sirius had bought-"

"I see. Well, I'm glad you're getting rid of it," Peter said. And without another word, he tore up the photograph and vanished into the living room.

Remus returned to sorting through his 'box of Sirius.' He hadn't _really_ intended to get rid of anything in it. But not because he didn't love Peter.

A loud curse pre-empted the slamming of the door. Remus jumped, startled. He peered into the living room. _I knew it..._ he thought. _Peter is right. I should throw out that box. Nothing but old memories._

Remus picked up his wand and stared at the box with intent.

"Dis-" he began.

"Dispar..."

Looking around the room, almost as if to check and see if anyone was watching, Remus swifly scooped up the box in his hands and placed it underneath the bed.

**Let go! **his mind screamed. 

_I love him so much..._

**Who?**

__

Peter.

**You love Sirius.**

__

I love Peter.

**No, you love pretending that Peter is Sirius.**

__

I love Peter.

**Then why haven't you made love in two weeks?**

__

I- LOVE- PETER!

Retiring at an early hour, Remus might as well have stayed up all night. He awoke alone.

_Did Peter not come home?_

He removed the sleep from his eyes and shuffled into the kitchen, then turned, and screamed.

"**Peter!** _Oh my God! _Peter, why in the world?!"

Remus rushed over to the suspended corpse of his lover. Ever so slowly, the short, husky man swung back and forth. Remus's eyes were wide with fright. He retrieved his wand from his room and aimed it at what Peter had hung himself from...

"What the...?"

A chain of photographs, all of Remus and Sirius, stretched from the noose around Peter's neck to low beam across the ceiling.

"Lies lies lies lies lies..." filled Remus's head in a flurry of whispers.

Remus awoke once more. Instantly, he turned to find he was alone in bed. Jumping up, he fumbled with to get the covers off of him. He rushed into the living room, where Peter was sleeping peacefully on the couch.

Remus fell to his knees and buried his face in his hands. Crying so hard that tears began to pool in his palms, Remus began shaking.

Peter was awakened by Remus's stirring.

"What's wrong, Moony?"

"Everything, Peter. _Everything_."


	6. Chapter VI: Prophets and Prophecies

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To Paris

Chapter VI: Prophets and Prophecies

Remus's trip to Hogwarts had provided Peter and him with a much-needed break.

*

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Remus asked.

"Moony, be need time apart. To sort things out. Albus will understand. Wish him the best, for me, would you?"

Remus nodded and kissed Peter briefly.

*

The torn, tattered man sat on the Hogwarts Express. The trip _had_ been a break from Peter, but not from the memories of Sirius.

*

The celebration for Albus Dumbledore's 50th year of teaching at Hogwarts took place in a wing on the second floor where students weren't permitted.

"The Ministry of Magic is doing its best to track down Voldemort's followers. Hopefully one of them will be able to tell us more about what Voldemort's plans are," Dumbledore reported.

The group flinched at each use of the Dark Lord's name.

A thin, middle-aged woman approached the group, eyeing Remus suspiciously as she made her way over. Dumbledore observed the looks of distress on the faces of James and Lily.

"There's nothing to worry about, you two. So long as your secret keeper remains silent, young Harold will be perfectly safe," Albus reassured the couple.

James, Lily, and Sirius exchanged glances that resembled worry more than relief.

"Ah, Professor Trelawney, these are the students I was telling you about," Dumbledore said through a thin smile.

The bony woman narrowed her eyes, staring at Remus.

"So you're the troublemakers, eh?"

"Oh, no, ma'am, we were perfect angels when we went to Hogwarts," Sirius grinned.

"Yes indeed. Lily and I were headgirl and headboy," James noted.

"And prefects, too," Lily chimed in happily.

"Where's the other one?" Professor Trelawney questioned, placing a finger on her head as if trying to remember something.

"Peter.. is... ah... busy," Remus simply stated.

"Then I suppose he'll miss out," Professor Trelawney sighed.

"Miss out? On what?" James asked inquisitively.

*

_She told James and Lily they would live long, happy lives. She told Sirius he'd end up teaching at Hogwarts. I wonder what she'll have to say to me?_

Remus entered the cold, dark, damp room which he assumed was Professor Trelawney's office. A bewitched ceiling showed the alignment of the planets, reminding Remus that the full moon was just two nights away.

The tiny office smelled of tea leaves and incense. Remus stopped in front of an incense holder and took a whiff of the fragrant aroma.

"Fairy dust."

"Excuse me?" Remus asked.

Professor Trelawney entered the room.

"You were going to ask what the incense was called," she told Remus.

"I was?"

"Yes, you were. But not any longer, for I've answered your question," she smiled.

"Er, right."

*

_That woman was crazy. I should've left the room right then and there... I guess I was too curious to pass up the opportunity._

The Hogwarts Express was quiet. Remus suspected he may have been the only passenger.

*

Professor Trelawney sat down in the chair behind her glass desk and Remus took a seat across from her.

"I already know much about you, Remus Lupin," she spoke near-whisper.

"Is that so? Well, there's not much to-"

"Ssshhh! I'm getting something..." Professor Trelawney shushed, shutting her eyes tightly.

Moments later, she opened her eyes.

"I have three things to say to you, Remus Lupin. Three things and nothing more."

Remus waited patiently, staring at Professor Trelawney curiously.

"Beware the one with yellow eyes. It will only cause you pain."

Remus blinked. _The one with yellow eyes...? Wormtail?_

"In the most grim of situations, the best solution is to always _walk away_."

_Grim situations. Walk away._

"Do not be selfish in your choices, or those whom you hold dear to you will suffer."

_Don't be selfish._

Professor Trelawney stared at Remus for a few moments before gesturing her head towards the door.

"Oh, right..." Remus trailed off, rising from his seat.

"Thank you, Professor Trelawney," he said before leaving the room.

"Don't mention it, Moony..." she replied under her breath.

*

"So you'll be staying in the castle for a few days?" James inquired.

Remus nodded.

"I needed time away from..."

"Yes?"

"Paris. It's quite a, erm, lively city," Remus quickly answered.

"Hmmm... I think I understand. Well then, I hope you have a lovely vacation. There's a matter of great importance Lily and I must speak of you with, but I suppose it can wait till you've had your rest," James told him.

Remus placed several on his robes in a drawer and shut it.

"I'll see you in a bit, James," Remus said, monotone.

James gave Remus and odd look and left the room; a 'guest room' of sorts in the wing of Hogwarts opposite the teacher's living spaces.

Remus deeply sighed, removing a picture of Peter from his briefcase. He remembered what Professor Trelawney had said.

_"Do not be selfish in your choices, or those whom you hold dear to you will suffer." I should go to Peter. Tell him how I _really_ feel._

*

"White-bearded pumperknickle," Remus told the Gargoyle statue. It slid sideways and Remus stepped into the opening.

"I'm leaving, Albus. I'm sorry, but there's something very important that I must do."

"I understand, Remus. I hope this isn't about what Professor Trelawney told you. It's wise to be mindful of her predictions, but foolish to endow them with too much faith," advised the aged wizard.

"It's unfortunate we did not get to speak in length-"

Dumbledore raised a hand.

"All is forgiven. Go now; take care of your business."

Remus narrowed his eyes. There was something in Dumbledore's voice.

_He sounds, almost, scared. But what would he have to be frightened of?_

"Very well, sir."

*

The Hogwarts Express slowed. Remus transferred trains. Quarter of an hour later, he returned to Paris.

"Home, sour home," he moaned, turning onto his street.

A black robed figured pushed past him, almost knocking him over. It appeared to be a man.

_Black hair... Severus? No, couldn't be._

"Peter... Peter? I have to talk to you about something."

Remus walked into the bedroom of his apartment and found Peter staring out the window."Peter?"

Wormtail shook for a moment, then turned his head sideways to look at Remus.

"What is it, dear?" he asked.

"Are you... okay... Peter?"

"You're going to hurt me, aren't you, Remus?"

Remus sighed inwardly.

"No-- well, maybe. I can't be selfish anymore. I-"

Peter rushed towards Remus and pushed him onto the bed, pressing the tip of his wand to Remus's throat.

"Don't you understand?! _This_ is selfish of you! _You_ aren't happy with me. _You_ want a clear conscience. You _told_ me you wouldn't hurt me, Moony! **_You. Promised._**"

Peter's eyes darkened as he and Remus both began to cry.

"Peter... No, I would've been lying to you. I love _Sirius_," Remus cried.

"**I don't care!** Look at me, Moony. Who could love me? I was ready to be lied to. You've taken that away from me! I told you, I'm not like you! I'll settle for less.** I'd rather be _lied_ to than be _alone_!**"

Tears fell from Peter's eyes on to Remus's face. With each tear came a searing pain.

"Lies lies lies lies lies lies lies..." A flurry of whispers filled Remus's head.

Peter's eyes were black. His teeth were clentch and there was a horrible crackling noise coming from the end of his wand. He jumped backwards, off of Remus, and waved his wand every which way, as if directing an orchestra of chaos.

The windows broke, the nightstand was knocked over, bulbs burst, and Remus was hurled off of the bed and onto the floor just before the mattress and the bedframe were sent flying into the closet.

Peter wiped away his tears with the sleeve of his robe. He calmly walked over to a box that had been under the bed. He squated down and pulled out several photographs.

Walking over to where a crying Remus lay, he dropped the photographs.

In a deep booming voice he asked, "Where's your precious Sirius _now_? He wouldn't _lie_ to you. Wouldn't _you_ want to be lied to?"

"No Peter, never," Remus spoke.

_I wouldn't want to be lied to..._

**And if Sirius told you that he loved you?**

_I would believe him._

**And if it was a lie?**

_I would love him back._

Peter gathered his things and left within the hour. All Remus could do was lay on the floor of the ravage room and watch Peter as he ripped his clothes out of the closet and forced them into his suitcase, all the while mumbling things like "selfish" and "pathetic" under his breath.

*

The next morning, Remus thought the worst was over.

"Ariel... Ariel, where are you?" Remus chirped, searching the apartment for his pet.

A soft tapping came from his door.

"Mister Lupin? Mister Lupin, this is Miss Harpy..."

Remus swung the door open and faced Miss Harpy, the middle-aged woman from next door. She wore a frown on her face and a collar in her hand.

"This is Ariel's-- where did you-"

"It was left in front of my door yesterday morning. You weren't home, I..." she explained.

"**Peter**," Remus said through clentched teeth.

*

Remus knew what he had to do. To put an end to the 'games.' He boarded another train headed towards Sirius. Not only to confess his love for him once more, but to warn him of the unstable Wormtail, which he suspected was under the influence of a force he could not speak of.

"It's for the best, Peter..."


	7. Intermission: Unlucky Passenger

****

To Paris

Intermission: Unlucky Passenger

_I have done _way_ too much traveling in the past week,_ Remus thought to himself, staring out the window of the train. He was about to confront Sirius. What he would tell his former lover was something he'd been practicing for years. It always changed a little, but the essentials stayed the same.

_I should probably talk to him about Peter, first... So it doesn't seem as if I came just to tell him..._

A wave of guilt suddenly rushed over Remus. _I shouldn't feel guilty... Or should I? No, if Peter blew up at me, there's no telling what he'd do to Sirius._

Remus rehearsed the speech in his mind. It distracted him from the train ride, which was seemingly taking forever.

"Sirius Black. I've known you for most of my life. We've always been side-by-side. We've _always_ been there for each other. Over the past few months, I haven't been able to help but wonder if you're dreaming of me as I've been dreaming of you. When you turned me away that night, I was hurt, but I never gave up hope. We're _meant_ to be together, Sirius. It's fate. Something that neither you nor I have a say in.

"So instead of fighting these feelings that we're having, we should embrace them. Because I love you, and I know that you love me too. You told me how much I had changed... and you were right. I've changed for _you_. For the better. So that we can spend the rest of our lives together without a care in the world.

"I love you, Sirius. There's no changing that."

Remus blinked and a tear rolled down his cheek. The train slowed and it took him a moment to realize where he was.

**Don't risk it, Remus. You'll just get hurt. Again. Maybe even worse than before.**

_You know he loves you, too. He'll admit it. Nothing can keep you apart. It was meant to be. Fate, Remus, fate._


	8. Chapter VII: What Peter Did

****

To Paris

Chapter VII: What Peter Did

__

Part One

Remus had chickened out.

_Who am I fooling?_ he thought wearily.

He sighed deeply and stared at the sign above him.

"Paris."

The trip to Sirius's had taken longer than he had expected. The sun had begun to dip into the horizon. Remus sighed once more as he slowly approached the ticket office.

"One please. To Paris."

Remus fumbled with the doorknob. Everything was dark. He struggled to find a light.

"Urgh," he moaned, grabbing his knee.

Suddenly, he could see. A tall, blonde-haired man stood before him.

Remus blinked and scratched his head.

"Remus..." the man mumbled to himself.

"Christian-- ah-- I tried knocking, but no one answered, and-"

"Save it... Sirius isn't here," the man barked.

Remus bit his lip.

"Oh, well, I just wanted to warn him, _and_ you about Peter..."

Christian ran a hand through his hair. Remus noticed a small black tattoo under his bicep.

"Sirius left earlier tonight. He isn't here," Christian repeated.

Remus narrowed his eyes.

"Peter Pettigrew isn't the most powerful of wizards, but he is certainly not to be underestimated. He's gone into a jealous rage and-"

"I'm sure you know all about those..." Christian whispered under his breath.

Remus clentched his teeth.

"And I'd suggest that both you and Sirius be on the look out for him. Do you know when Sirius will return?"

"No. And I don't care, either. I'll give him your message."

Christian's green eyes stared into Remus's.

_Something about him isn't right..._

"You can go now," Christian stated, folding his arms.

Remus backed out into the hallway and closed the door. He reached into his robe and pulled out the train ticket to Paris.

_I should've just gone back, but I had to know. Sirius wasn't here... I suppose that means something. It wasn't fate. It wasn't meant to be._

Remus turned, and froze. A swirling mass of black and blue glowed in front of him. He saw Peter's face, and heard a voice in his head.

"Why did you have to do that, Moony? Things would've been okay... They will be, now. I've fixed it all. Do you know where Sirius is? Why don't you ask James? He should know."

An evil laugh filled his head followed by a deafening screeching.

Remus shut his eyes closed and grabbed his ears in pain.

Instantly, it stopped. Remus opened his eyes. He was on a train back to Paris.

_Did... any of that happen?_ he wondered. _What was it Peter said? 'Do you know where Sirius is? Why don't you ask James?'_

"What was that supposed to mean?" he questioned himself out loud.

Remus returned home and collapsed onto his bed again. He glanced outside his window and noticed the sun had just set.

_There is something _very _wrong going on here... Either I'm going insane or someone is messing with time... But for what reason?_

He looked out his window and Penelope, Sirius's owl, stared back at him with big yellow eyes.

Remus gazed for a moment longer and swore he saw the image of Peter in them.

Seconds later, Penelope flew away, the full moon taking her place.

The fact that Remus was staring into a full moon hadn't registered until he began to change. He had tried to apparate somewhere, anywhere, but had no way of knowing if he was successful or not.

He awoke in cold concrete room.

"Where did you find him?"

"On the roof of his residence. We think he apparated a couple hundred feet above it."

Remus's head was ringing. His vision was blurred and his hearing was muffled, but he could still make out the words of the two men standing in the room with him.

"Why in God's name would you do such a thing, Remus?"

"It's safe to assume he had... 'forgotten' about the full moon and was attempting to prevent himself from doing harm to others."

"By trying to kill himself?"

Remus shifted and one of the men placed a hand on his shoulder.

Lightly shaking him, "Remus. Remus, wake up. It's Cornelius."

Remus came to and sat up. He was lying on the floor of a cell, dressed in old robes. Both of the men were wearing official Ministry robes.

--------------------

****

A/N: I split the seventh chapter into two parts because it was too big. It unbalanced the rest of the chapters. I'm not completely finished with the seventh chapter since so much happens in it, but I wanted to post _something_.


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